Sunday, August 13, 2006

Annoying Commercials: Still not an oxymoron!

I've been seeing ads for a product called "Head On." The ads feature a young woman rubbing something that looks like a deodorant stick to her forehead. A female voice intones repeatedly:

"Head On--Apply Directly to the Forehead! Head On--Apply Directly to the Forehead! Head On--Apply Directly to the Forehead! Head On--Apply Directly to the Forehead!"

, until the commercial is done.

You're probably wondering: what is it for?

I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!

Yes, absolutely nothing in the commercial, not the narrative (obviously), nor any writing on the product's packaging, gives you the smallest indication of what the thing does. There was a Saturday Night Live sketch decades ago, with Gilda Radner touting "the women's product so feminine--we don't know _what_ it does!"

The other ad that's got to go is Comcast:

Guy 1: "What's the deal?"
Guy 2: "(explains Comcast's great new deal)"
Guy 1: "No--I mean what's the deal with us being huge in Japan? (or other crazy thing he can't explain)"

It's. So. LAME. I mean, it's like a joke written by someone who's never heard a joke before, but has only had "joking" described to them, and tries their hand at it.

To be positive (I don't want to drive any ad copywriters to suicide), let me suggest: jokes aren't your thing. Don't try them. Write drama.